Christmas Eve

So this year I've had to participate in trying to explain to a 3 year old the concept of Santa Claus and I realized something. You can't explain Santa Claus to someone who's never heard of him without sounding high...

Santa? Well he's this guy who lives at the North Pole...with elves...and they make toys...and then he uses reindeer to fly to the roof of your house...and he comes down the chimney and gives you presents...no, really...no, I haven't been smoking anything...

And so on and so forth. Next year I'm just going to tell her about the birth of Christ complete with teenage pregnancy and mass infanticide. Because that's what Christmas is really all about. Yay, Obama!

I haven't played any shows lately and I really think it's having an effect on me...

Anyway, have a Christ-y, Christ-y Good Time!

Speaking of which here is the clip of Jim Carrey on Conan talking about the whole Christ-y Christmas thing and you've got to watch it till the very end with the song and all because that's what Christmas is all about:

iDogs

Have you seen the iDog?? It's a little dog that plugs into your stereo, MP3, what have you, and dances to the music that's being played. It's like one of those flowers with the sunglasses from the 80's except it's like, 5 times as expensive. Or like one of those dancing Coke cans also with sunglasses and headphones...Having said that, my Christmas list is pretty short this year. I want an iDog Dance. And I can't help but feel that the reason has something to do with some kind of consumerist denial of the impending financial crisis that even now is affecting our economy in a very scary way...oh well, I'm sure if I just close my eyes and buy things and hum really loud when I hear there's a problem it will surely go away. Or instead of humming I'll just sing "iDog Dance, iDog Dance..." to the tune of "Jiggle Bells" or something equally as festive. Is that even the way you spell it? With the little "i" like in iTunes?? Anyway, I'm sure Santa will know what I mean in my letter.

I rant about the weirdest crap...maybe I need some kind of medication for Christmas...

And that's another thing! It's CHRISTmas, ok? Jesus was born, a bunch of stuff happened and YOU get presents so say His name in the title you bunch of ingrates.

And yes, that's the note I want to end on. It's my prerogative...which I just spelled correctly because I checked. Merry Christmas to all!

Crazy Little Guy Records

www.myspace.com/crazylittleguyrecords

and this thing which I like:

K9 Justice League CD is finished!!!

The K9 Justice League CD from Crazy Little Guy Records featuring the acoustic version of "Somebody's Dream" is finished and on sale now for $5!



It's the only place you can purchase a physical copy of that song right now and it's got a lot of other bands on there and it's for a great cause! You should write them on their myspace page and ask them about it!

GNR

So Chinese Democracy finally happened...




I'm just curious, did anybody care?

The Solution

Look, I'm not going to mention any names because I'm a nice guy AND I don't have to for everyone to know exactly what I'm talking about so here goes...

I have the solution for all the problems with the recession right now! It occurred to me while listening to the radio today. Just regular old radio, not satellite or anything fancy and this song came on the radio...like I said I'm not mentioning any names...but I started thinking about how much money was being pumped into this particular "crooner"'s single, album, promotion, etc., and I thought what if we took all the money that we were putting behind crappy music and used that to stimulate the economy in a positive way. We could build schools, pay our teachers and police force a decent salary and of course, actually put some of the money into real music programs for entertainment and education.

Think of all the millions that go into billboards and commercials and internet ads; even just to get a song played on the radio costs a fortune and it's all being spent on this crap...not mentioning any names...and my God, no one even cares at this point! It's not like everyone is clawing over each other to buy these CD's! (Kids are too busy playing video games with GOOD music in them!) All this money is basically being spent on advertising just begging people to pay attention to artists they don't care about!

So what if we had a rule, like, ummm, if you're album sounds like a bad soundtrack for an Old Navy commercial all your funding has to be redistributed to useful areas of society. Now, this would stimulate the economy and encourage artistry because the artists that people actually liked, that created a demand for themselves without the benefit of their audience being told what to think through the media would be able to make music and art and reap the rewards of producing a good product while the other...I'm gonna say who...would just go away and their money could help bail out all those auto workers, the people who actually provide a service that people need AND want.

And they don't get a reality shows either...just because...although those do seem to do better than their albums...all those people and their albums...those horrible, horrible albums...I'm not mentioning any names...

Status

I'm hungry.