I Am Not Related to Michael Bolton

A lot of times people go, "Seth Boulton? Are you related to Michael Bolton?"

The answer is no. I wish I had his money. I've heard he comes from a well-to-do family and I wish I had their money too but no, we're not related. Number one, his name isn't Bolton, it's Bolotin but he changed to be cooler I guess. Number two, my name isn't Bolton, it's Boulton with a "U" although some people in my family have changed up the spelling for various reasons. Also, I've heard from many reliable sources that he's a jackass so if you see me, don't ask me that. I know people see my name and think, "I'll ask if he's related to Michael Bolton. It'll be clever and I'll be the first person who's ever said that to him." But you aren't. I don't hold it against anyone. I'll even chuckle slightly like it's funny when you say it. But I'll die a little on the inside. So quit it. Thank you.