The Real Winner in this Election

I would like to thank all the people who voted early this year. Because of you there was literally no line when I went to vote late Tuesday night. I just walked into a practically empty room, gave them my name and voted for your dad. So thanks early voters! Because of you, your dad got another vote and believe me, I'm not the kind of guy who's gonna wait in line for my chance to voice my opinion on who the next leader of the free world should be. If there was a 15 minute wait I would have been outta there! I mean, come on, how many votes is your dad gonna get anyway? He's not gonna win. So I'm not waiting around just to vote for your dad and waste my Tuesday night. I've got places to be.